It’s okay to pump the brakes sometimes.
It is okay to slow things down in a relationship, in work, in your social life, in anything that becomes more pressure than what you want it to be. It’s okay to take time away from situations or events or people in order to breathe again. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to something you would at any other point in life scream ‘yes’ too.
It’s not your civic duty to please everyone or everything around you. That is miserable. It’s okay to decide to be selfish and do things your own way for once. It’s okay to do something for yourself for once rather than just going with the flow in a direction you don’t even want to go in the first place.
I know a lot of people, myself included, that hate to let anyone down. So we say yes. “Yes, I do want to go to dinner with you.” “Yes, I would love to teach you algebra that I don’t understand.” “Yes, I would love to babysit your bratty children that aren’t potty trained.” “Yes, I am free Saturday to do something I truly don’t want to do.”
But here’s the situation.
This is a selfish point in life. I personally have been struggling with putting myself first. Solely because I hate letting others down. I hate knowing that I could be disappointing someone by not going to their get together, or their plans were altered because I couldn’t help them out. You spread yourself thin over all these different areas in your life and then you have a moment when you realize you aren’t whole anymore.
I need a slow down.
At this point, work is steady, class is class, and the only long term relationship I am most concerned with is the one between me, myself, and I. (and you too Lord). But seriously, the point at which I am at now I am not concerned with a boyfriend or getting married or anything that contains pressure or obligations. Which, if you do have that figured out and rockin’ on forever then congratulations, sista! Someone’s gotta do that and I am so glad that it isn’t me.
And this isn’t a rant on dating, because dating is fun and that four letter L word I do look forward to in the distant future. Preferably with someone who loves dogs, nature, and Jack Daniels.
It’s the time now to do something for yourself that relieves stress, increases happiness, and doesn’t make you feel pressured down a river rapid only half strapped into a life vest. You’ll drown.
Tell your boss you can’t work overtime all the time. They may not like it, but they will deal. Tell your acquaintance that you really don’t want to go to their party. Or make up a good excuse like “I have to watch my pet fish”. They’ll get over it, and they probably won’t even notice. Just slow down, take time for yourself, and realize that it’s okay to tell people no. Make your chicken dinner complicated by changing all the sides that come with it. It’s not the end of the world. It’s the time to put you first. If whoever you don’t want to disappoint cares enough, they will understand. Because they have been in your shoes or will be at some point.
Life is so much fun. There shouldn’t be pressures or obligations going on that are unwelcomed or uninvited. Just breathe, tell ‘em how you feel, and move forward. It’s too much of a burden to leave your happiness in the hands of someone else.
Be selfish now, you will thank yourself later. I promise.