Growing Pains.


Sometimes situations occur without reason, or feelings change as rapidly as the Ohio weather, and life gets a little fuzzy. We make promises we intend to keep but without success. We distance ourselves from people who love us or who may be toxic in our life. Sometimes we push ourselves away from anything long term because of the pressure it would put on the present.  And sometimes we just get overwhelmed with everything.  It’s like a really, really, old t-swift album. (No shame, I still jam to T-swizzle once a week at least)


The whole statement “right person, wrong time” is such a grey area. Like, right person to love but wrong time? There is no wrong time to love someone, or care for them deeply. Maybe the time in your life isn’t for a commitment or a relationship, but it is the time to grow with someone. Growing through a friendship, through just simply talking, or getting to know someone more deeply than you would normally. It’s a bold step to make a commitment in your life whenever you may not be ready, and something that personally freaks me out. It’s scary to not know what could lie ahead or where you may end up. But that is not an excuse to push someone out of your life or pretend something isn’t there. Which, c’mon. Our entire generation thrives on the idea of pretending ‘feelings’ are gross or don’t exist. If you want to argue just scroll down your twitter TL and look at the endless retweets and memes that everyone thinks are so funny but really just hide actual feelings. (LOL- half of my workday spent tagging friends in memes – you are welcome for the laughs).


But seriously, all memes aside, there are so many different reasons why you could chose not to care about someone, and timing should not be one of them. Sure, things do get complicated, messy, and for lack of better word SUCK sometimes. But to compromise your feelings in exchange for pushing someone out of your life- that you actually deeply care for- well, that’s silly. Why not just pump the breaks? Learn to love them as a friend and grow together, experience life together through memories and creating something deeper. Maybe you will love them so much it hurts to picture your life without them- and maybe you will fall in love with their friendship only. Maybe you will create the greatest lifelong journey together, or both grow into separate paths and encourage each other as lifelong friends. Maybe you will actually develop a relationship that is supportive, encouraging, and has a solid foundation. I am no good at building structures, nor does my daily life seem to have any, but I do know that a home without a solid ground won’t stand strong. So, just apply that very lame example to your situation.


It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment, overwhelmed by circumstances, and feel lost in it all. But caring about someone enough to recognize that you see a future with them, and need to grow first, is not a crime. It’s hard to do, and harder to say (because it really does hurt), and hard to explain. But why ruin a really great thing just because you are nervous, or scared, or just not ready. Take the time you need, grow, and develop. It can take a couple days, months, or dang I just may be here in 5 years wondering where the hell I went wrong, but it’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be just fine. And the sun’s gonna shine again.   


You may be at a point where you think “right person, wrong time”. But there is nothing wrong with loving someone through friendship until you reach a point where the future is (slightly) clearer, sky is brighter, and you can finally breathe. Just be honest with yourself and follow your gut. And eat apple pie. ‘cause it’s the little things in life that mean the most.



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