It’s been awhile since I’ve last created a worthwhile post that wasn’t drenched in southern phrases or a sweet tea flavor, I suppose. But that’s mostly because life hasn’t been the most pleasant jar of honey the last couple of weeks.
On the bright side, I graduated with my Master’s (thank the good Lord I never have to wrists another paper (for now)), I still have a not terrible job that is always changing, and I have found more specifically friends for life that I will take with me from place to place either in person, heart, or in spirit. I have gained a better sense of self worth, self appreciation, and self control. I have learned that not so, and so hard way, that real friends have character, morals, and judgement that reflect your own. I have gained knowledge in fields that I once wasn’t confident, such as corporate finances, relationship building through life skills, and things as minuscule as parallel parking with cars waiting from both directions. I have truly recognized how much I have been given throughout this life that was all because of someone else or because of someone else’s ability to instill a sense of drive, determination, and success in my blood. I have been dealt and learnt a great hand these few months. But it hasn’t been all smiles.
It’s been tears, heart break, and heart ache. It’s been stressful, crazy, and absolutely out of control at times. I WISH I cried over spilled milk, one time I even cried over the fact that I couldn’t get my bobby pin in my hair just right, all because I was so stressed that my entire judgement of what was so important was off. Heart break. Lots of things or situations can make someone feel a heartbreak. Things such as loss of loved ones, a pet sickness, for some it could be the fact that their favorite artist or athlete didn’t win some award. It could be that a ‘friend’ slept with an ex , and then your other ex, and tried to keep it a secret. It could be that the person you may have trusted just went behind your back to sneak around. It could be that the McDonald’s ice cream machine is never fucking working when you want a damn small cone. Whatever it is, heart break sucks. And it comes in all shapes and sizes. But heart ache really sucks. Sometimes this happens after a heart break or even just a longing for closure . When you aren’t really sure what’s going on but you are kind of sure something’s going on but at the same time you aren’t too sure so instead it’s just whatever it is it is. Lol. Yeah. Welcome to today, take a number. we will be right with you Mr. Toomanyfish .
It’s been a hard couple of weeks. Weird couple of months. And overall a weird ass year or so. But in this reflection I’ve learned that I have gained more confidence, more self recognition of the things and types of people I deserve, and that giving a damn about every little thing outside yourself is not possible if you want to have sanity.
There are so many healthy things that can change your world. Altering yourself with the same environment isn’t always the answer. Change is good for the heart and good for the soul. Whether it be moving, changing, or just opening your mind to new opportunities. After all, with a solid foundation and support along the way, you can accomplish anything. Determine who is good in your life or with your growth and build upwards. One questionable stone can demolish an entire corner. After all, who wants to build on something fake.
Sometimes, instead of getting a haircut to change your world you may just need a new hairdresser.